I want to hold your hand

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Welcome home;

I am just a girl that wishes she had enough lifetimes to experience life to the fullest. There are just too many dreams, but no matter which path I pave, I strive to constantly emit positivity and love. I have been fortunate enough to have been surrounded by people that love me, and to experience love at its finest, and only desire to reflect this back to the world I live in.

(Luke 6:30)

Feel free to peruse this blog, I am here for you.

♥· ♥ ∞

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"I don’t feel like I can change the world. I don’t even try. I only want to change this small life that I see standing in front of me, which is suffering. I want to change this small real thing that is the destiny of one little girl. and then another, and another, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself or sleep at night."

— Somaly Mam, The Road of Lost Innocence (via quote-book)

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I have missed home. Do not get me wrong, I absolutely love school. I love the friends I have made there, the activities and classes I am taking, and I am very happy there. I can’t imagine myself spending this past year anywhere but there. But coming home, even for just tonight, really reminded me of how much freedom we had here. I always wanted to go to college in the city, and I do not regret that. I love the city. I love city lights, how there are always people up and about, and the energy in the city. But there is something so alluring about fields, clear night skies with visible stars, fresh air.

I guess it’s also because I got to see some of my favorite people tonight too. I forgot how easy it is to be home, and how easy it is to fall back into my usual routine here. I had a wonderful night tonight, helping my sister get ready for her junior prom. Taking pictures with my family, and going through the whole 120983412 million pictures again was complete deja vu. I had dinner with one of my closest friends and then my love came. It’s crazy how much fun one can have with a pokemon book, chinese characters, and some angry bird dolls. I haven’t laughed this much and been this comfortable in ages. I am comfortable with people at school, but there is something just relaxing about chilling with people you grew up with. Afterwards, I finally got to skype with Phoebe, who I haven’t talked to in forever (sad face).

Seeing so many high school friends in one week, especially seeing them come home or packing to come home, has really put me into a summer mood. I’m ready to come home.

Sorry I’ve been awful at updating, but hello tumblr world :) Hope you guys have been well.

"It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done."

— Vincent Van Gogh (via eirenics)

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calantheandthenightingale:

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

— from The Velveteen Rabbit (or How Toys Become Real) by Margery Williams, 1922

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It is hard to admit that I am trying to replace you, but I guess that that is what I was hoping for. And I know that I should be content with all that I have, and I am grateful to all the people I know, but I crave the togetherness I felt when we were who we used to be. I miss someone that really knew me, and I guess it’s just where I am at now, but some nights I feel me losing myself and I don’t know where to turn.

Tonight I took a late night walk in and off campus. I guess ostensibly for stickers, but seeing as I still don’t have any, maybe I just needed time to myself. I used to love night walking, and going to places, and reading, and just being. What happened while I was here?

randomawkwardgirl:

I feel wonderful. I am a strong, talented woman who can do whatever she wants in life.

I’m sorry I can’t let things go,
and that my hurt runs deep.
I was always angry with you,
but underneath all anger
is hurt.
And maybe I just didn’t want to
deal with it,
and maybe I feel pathetic to
still be thinking about us.
Even after all this time,
I do.
I would give up everything
to have it all back,
I’m sorry.

"Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel uncomfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “hey babe! I like you okay. Do you wanna grab lunch? I think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!” It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love."

— Thought Catalog, How To Tell If Someone Loves You (via hyperbolequeen)

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"Whoever struggles with monsters might watch that he does not thereby become a monster. When you stare into an abyss for a long time, the abyss also stares into you."

— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (via bradburied)

Birthdays never meant much to me. I find it silly that we celebrate our own births, over celebrating the people that brought us to this world. It was my parents and family that nurtured me until the day I was ready to be born into the world, not anything I did in the womb. I don’t wish to celebrate who I am and have become, because I have been shaped by everyone who raised me.

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"
Be painfully honest with God. Anything you hold back from God is exactly where the devil is going to needle you. There is nothing God is embarrassed to hear from you about, there is no feeling that God is angry at you for having, there is no subject that is taboo.

Be painfully, embarrassingly, aggressively honest with God.
"

—

Jed Brewer on episode 49 of the Say That podcast

Get it Free on iTunes or our website

(missionusa.com/bridgebox)

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"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it."

— J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan (via eirenics)

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"Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy if anything can."

— Thomas Merton (via jspark3000)